Universal Lessons in Stirrups
by gillis
Karma. Simple concept. You put the energy out into the universe and like a psychic boomerang it comes back to you. Sometimes karma changes its appearance and it takes you awhile to see through the dye job, the weight loss, or the new glasses. Other times you recognize it immediately and you greet karma with a warm hug. Or you turn your grocery cart and move in the other direction when karma comes your way uninvited.
So why the surprise when I’m forced out of my comfort zone and pushed to work with strangers? Or even worse, colleagues? Don’t I make a living grouping awkward middle schoolers into pairs and trios against their will? Why should I be spared the indignity myself? And yet, when I’m asked to partner up at a PD workshop or made to endure a ghastly ice breaker activity, I react as though someone were telling me I needed to scoot down a little more and plant my feet firmly into the stirrups. Every time. It’s a personal affront.
I am a believer in the universe, the divine creator, or perhaps someone named Marsha, handing us out the lessons that we need to learn in this life. I recognize also that I am a slow student, or at least a reluctant one who demonstrates inconsistent effort. I get the same lessons handed back to me for revisions a lot. When it comes to learning social skills and being connected with other humans, I’m the kid who leaves the room and hides in the bathroom for 15 minutes to avoid the work. I would much rather do the work involved in writing a 20 page report on parasitic diseases by myself than work for 30 minutes with a group of people on poster depicting the steps to making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I don’t practice what I preach. And I make kids work with other kids not of their choosing sometimes. I want to believe that I do this so that they will be better humans than I am. No, scratch that, I want whoever might be reading this to believe that I do this so that my students will be better humans than I am. What I really think is that it is good for them to get used to working with people they might not choose as partners because this will keep happening to them in school and work. I ask them to do it because sometimes I want the students to benefit from some groupthink. Sometimes I want the work to be done efficiently. Sometimes I just want them to build up their social skills so it’s not so painful for them when they are told to scoot down and firmly plant their feet into the stirrups.
gillis and her big mouth 
Thank you for your upfront and candid reflections. Not everyone likes group work, but we need to know how to deal when placed in those situations. Happy slicing!
I relate to this post SO HARD. Thank you for your honesty and especially for the last 5 sentences.
I don’t always practice what I preach. Thanks for reading!
This is so relatable! Hard same! I am the person who will skip out to the bathroom to try and avoid groupwork, but call out students the next day in class for doing the same thing. And I can’t, for the life of me, figure out if I am doing groupwork because I really believe it is beneficial, or if it’s just because “cooperative learning” has been a buzzword for so many years I feel like I am supposed to. I much prefer an independent work-centered classroom with space to chat as you are working if you choose to. Is that so wrong? Shouldn’t there be a place to welcome us hermit-ish, introverted, curmudgeonly types? Eh. Thanks for the affirmation that there are some of us out there!
I try to give choices, but sometimes I’m hypocritical and put them in groups!
This post is so real and so funny. I relate as someone who has ACTUALLY read books on tips for making small talk and with other social mores. Awesome!