Ten Jobs I Don’t Want to Have…

by gillis

Countdown of 10 jobs I hope never to have:

10. Janitor at a boarding school for teen girls- I actually worked as a part-time janitor in an office setting after I graduated from college. I didn’t last long because the owner of the company had numerous complaints about my work. He often came in after I was done and re-cleaned the building. Eventually he had to fire me. It was awkward because he was, and still is, married to my sister.

9. Toll-booth collector – My daughter’s basketball coach works the night shift as a toll collector. In fact, she started the job just after college when she couldn’t find a teaching job and she never left. It affords her the time she needs to spend with her family and to coach, but I can’t imagine enjoying it. On the upside, she reads many books. On the downside, she’s in a small booth in the dead of night by herself with cars driving up at her all night long.

8. Management consultant- I worked for a gaggle of them and even dabbled in managing a few administrative folks in the office towards the end. There’s a fine line between prostitution and consulting. And it’s insights like that one that caused the president to let me know in no uncertain terms that I did not fit the corporate culture of the firm and my services would no longer be needed. Best career counseling I ever received, although it took me years to figure that out.

7. Funeral director – One of the students in the first fifth grade class I taught contacted me to let me know the happy news that she had been accepted to the Warshom School of Mortuary! It took some effort for me to be glad for her, and it sealed my choice for cremation.

6. Fast food restaurant manager- I think managing one of these fat mills would be much more depressing than running a fry-o-later or cash register because once you’re management, there’s no pretending it’s just a temporary gig. They get that tie on you and send you to hamburger college and you’re done.

5. Server/bartender in almost any circumstance -Making small talk with customers, getting along with the kitchen staff, remembering the orders, giving extra attention to the extra discerning diners, begging for tips all night, missing every weekend/holiday…ugh.

4. Port-o-potty cleaning service technician – I cannot think of an upside to this job. I might turn to life of crime in order to avoid this one. Makes a colostomy sound attractive in comparison.

3. Department store perfume sprayer – Everyone hates you. Everyone.

2. Coal miner – It sounds grueling, dangerous, thankless, dirty, monotonous, and soul-crushing. On the plus side, you might find inspiration for writing country songs in the mine. Between choking coughs.

1. Middle school assistant principal – No one goes into that office willingly. Including the staff.

Which jobs would make your list???